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“He did WHAT?!?”
“He flipped his legs over his head and gave himself a blow job!”
“C’mon… how the hell did he do that?”
“He lay on his back, on his bed and just went ass over tin cup. I’m telling you… he posted progressive still shots on the internet, like a how-to guide! It was incredible… fucked up… but incredible! He’s obviously as limber as a gymnast, he just folded himself in half!”
“And he could reach his own penis … with his mouth…. ya, right.”
“Well, ya… he’s a freakin’ porn star. I mean, he’s probably packing a good 9 inches. He wrote on his blog that he’s 6 inches when he’s soft… so… ya.”
“Wow.”
“Ya… I know.”
“I’m jealous.”
“Ha! Me too.”
“What the hell were you doing on a porn star’s blog?”
“Gail over in accounting sent me the link… I never heard of the guy before. She said her one friend follows him on twitter.”
“No shit.”
“Ya.. huh… no shit.”
“Well, there’s the whistle… I’ll see you after work, Harry. You going down to Mike’s for a beer?”
“C’mon, George… don’t I always? Louise never expects me home before HAPPY HOUR, anyway.”
*********************
Gumby
1 ounce Vodka
1 ounce Melon Liqueur
1 ounce Sour Mix
Add ingredients into a mixing glass filled with ice. Shake well. Pour contents into a tall glass. Fill with lemon-lime soda.
Enjoy!
Huge thank you to Jeremy Feist – Canadian Star Extraordinaire
for granting me permission to use his photo on my site and for allowing the link to his. Caution: link contains explicit and graphic nudity.
“Oh god…oh god…oh god”
“Oh… ya… that’s it… right .. there…”
“Don’t… stop”
“Do.. n’t…. st.. op…”
“………………………”
“Uuuu …… hhhhhhhhh………..”
“………………………”
“Aaahhhhhhh………..”
“Mmmmmmmmm……..”
“Mmmmmm……..”
Jeremy kept his face buried in the v between Felicity’s legs, helping her ride out her climax and lapping up her sweet honey like this was going to be his last meal. Even when the bucking subsided and her hips melted into the bed in exhausted satisfaction, Jeremy’s tongue continued its smooth stroking until she giggled. He wanted to eat her alive.
“I want to eat you alive,” Jeremy lifted his head, echoing his thoughts. Her juices glistened on his mustache and goatee.
“If you keep that up, you’re going to drown down there,” Felicity laughed.
“Oh, to be a drowning man in your honeyed nectar.” The smile in Jeremy’s voice matched the gleam in his eyes as he prowled up Felicity’s body and settled his mouth on her nipple.
She could feel the sticky wetness from his goatee on her breast and she reached out to lift his chin and wipe it away.
Jeremy snagged her wrist, stopping her, “I want that there… I’m saving it for later,” he extended his upper lip bringing the whiskers to his nose and breathed deeply. “Ah… the scent of my Lady. Nothing better in the whole world.”
Felicity chuckled softly as he lowered his large muscular frame onto the bed beside her and nestled in close, throwing one leg over her hip and resting his thigh where his face had just been. He loved that he could still feel the heat of her excitement. Nothing pleased him more than pleasing his woman.
“This is a great bed, isn’t it?” Felicity caressed the sheets as she looked around the grand space. “This room is gorgeous with its tall windows and bright light. Look how the sun dances through the stained glass in the transom.”
“I’m a little busy here.” Jeremy’s muffled voice tickled her nipple with vibration as he continued to lick and suck, moving from one breast to the other, taking care to give them equal attention.
“I could actually see myself living here, can’t you?” Felicity murmured as she lazily ran her hand down Jeremy’s powerful back.
The sharp knock on the door brought the quiet moment to a grinding halt and they laughed clandestinely as they jumped up and quickly straightened the bedding.
“Is everything all right in there?” The Realtor’s shrill voice came squealing through the locked wooden door like a dentist’s drill. “Are you finding the master suite to your liking?” The doorknob turned and rattled to no avail. “I can’t seem to get in… the door… seems to be jammed…. but, don’t worry, it’s not unusual for this to happen in such an old home, we’ll get it fixed.”
Smoothing their clothes and struggling to compose their faces, Jeremy and Felicity quietly unlocked and opened the door. As they hastily strode down the hallway, Jeremy called back to the Realtor, “Yes, we like this house very much. Felicity and I will take some time to talk about a purchase over HAPPY HOUR and we’ll get back to you.”
*****
Visitor
1 ounce Vodka
1/2 ounce Orange Liqueur
1/2 ounce Banana Liqueur
Orange Juice
Add vodka, orange liqueur and banana liqueur to a mixing glass filled with ice. Shake. Pour contents into glass and fill with orange juice.
Enjoy!
“Pssstt”
“Psssssssstttttt! …. …. Aye, Reds!”
“Are you calling me?” If there was one thing Airen hated more than being sshhuush’d, it was being psssst’d. “Leave me alone, it sounds like you’re leaking air.”
“I have something over here… would’ja like to come see it?”
The only thing Airen wanted to see was the St. Patrick’s Day parade progressing in front of her. She had no time for little men with red hair in green coats, even if he did look like a Leprechaun. “Go away.”
“No, I’d really like to show ye what I got here.”
“I bet you do. Aren’t you supposed to be in the parade? You certainly are dressed the part.” Airen turned her attention back to the spectacle taking place in the street. Why is it I only attract the crazy ones?
“AIREN PATRICE O’TOOLE!” the little man shouted.
Stunned into acknowledgment by this stranger knowing her name, she whipped her head around, along with everyone else standing on the sidewalk and glared at the strange looking little man.
“I’m not even going to ask how you know my name, you little stalker. You finally have my attention, now what is it that you want?”
“Are ye the Airen who spells her name A-i-r-e-n?”
“Yes…. why do you know how my name is spelled?”
“Are ye related to Aiden Raine-Bowmore?”
“Yes.” Airen’s hand flew to her throat, caressing the miniature wine bottle and tiny gold key that hung from the delicate chain. Wariness bloomed in her mind.
“Ye need to come with me. Just in here.” Curiosity won over apprehension and she followed when the Leprechaun-looking person tugged her shirtsleeve, pulling her through the door of a pub. The place was dark, compared to the bright afternoon and Airen had to pause to let her eyes adjust. When her sun blindness dissipated, she noticed there were no patrons in the bar. Probably all outside watching the parade, she thought.
The little man stepped in front of her and extended his arm, palm curled into a fist. “Have ye ever seen this?” he asked, unfurling his fingers.
Airen looked down. In his palm was a petite, gem-studded rainbow. The seven colors were represented in varied shades of rubies, citrines, emeralds, sapphires and amethysts.
The stunning beauty of the thing mesmerized Airen. “No, I don’t remember ever seeing that before.”
“Your Uncle sent me here to deliver this to ye today, on your 29th birthday.”
“But, my Uncle has been dead for 6 years. Ar dheis Dé go raibh a anam”
“Aye Rua, may he rest in peace. He would be so happy to hear that ye still know your Gaelic! But, to your confusion… his explicit instructions were, when ye come of age, as ye are today, I was to deliver the rainbow that matches the wine and the key around your neck.”
Again Airen’s hand flew to her throat. “Who are you?”
“Just a messenger and beloved friend of your late Uncle Rainbow.”
“You must be mistaken, my Uncle’s name was Aiden Raine-Bowmore.”
“Yes, he did disguise his name as such. But, his given name was A. Rainbow. And ye were given the matching name by his sister, your máthair.”
“Matching name?”
“Have ye never noticed your initials spell A. POT? Your name represents the treasure held within your family! Your Uncle was charged as head-keeper of protecting it when your máthair passed in your childhood.”
“Whoa, whoa… wait a minute. Are you standing there telling me that I’m descended of Leprechauns… the kind of fairies that hoard a pot of gold, supposedly at the end of a rainbow? You must be out of your Lilliputian mind!”
“Well, factually, I’m telling ye that ye are descended of not only Leprechauns, that be on your Father’s side, but also of Clurichauns from which come your Mother’s side.”
“Oh… kaayy.”
“Not many folks are as familiar with the Clurichaun, as we are most often mistaken for a Leprechaun. We, m’dear, are charged with protecting the wine cellars!”
The little man was obviously so delighted with himself that he could no longer contain his composure. He broke out into a vigorous Irish jig and danced around Airen until her head swam.
“Honestly, sir. I still don’t know what you are doing here. Other than to deliver this most beautiful piece of jewelry.”
“Oh, silly me. I do get carried away sometimes! That rainbow is no ordinary piece of jewelry m’dear. It is the third… and sole piece, mind ye… that when combined with the charms on your necklace, will open your family treasure and bind it to ye.”
“Family treasure?”
“Rainbow’s End… this pub, m’dear! And, such a fitting name your family gave it, if I do say so me self!” The man laughed, sweeping his arms all around him. “This is your treasure! Bestowed unto ye on this day, the 29th year of your birth! Just place the rainbow together with the other charms on your necklace and it shall be yours forever after! I shall send the specifics to ye later…but, right now, m’dear… I do believe that it’s HAPPY HOUR!
He Said...She Said...