You are currently browsing the daily archive for December 23, 2010.
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The 2nd Annual posting of
Vineyard Road’s
‘Twas the Night!
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‘Twas the night before Christmas,
and I’ll have to admit,
with only a half day of work,
I was looking to get lit.
I clocked out of the office,
intending to go
right past St. Mary’s
and into Sloppy Joe’s.
I sidled up to the bar
and ordered my drink,
“Gimme Sailor Jerry and Coke
and bring it right quick!”
I gulped that drink down
and ordered another,
when I looked across the bar
and saw my long-lost brother.
“Nicholas, my Bro…
My god, is that you?
I haven’t seen you in years,
what the hell happened to you?”
“Ho, ho, ho,” he responded
and that’s all he said,
then he threw back a shot
with the tilt of his head.
His eyes were all gleaming,
his nose, red as a cherry,
I imagine it was because,
he too, was drinking Sailor Jerry!
I grabbed my drink,
rounding the bar towards my brother,
but, I stopped midway over
and ordered another.
“Sailor Jerry and Coke
and one for that guy.”
I said to the barmaid,
with a wink of my eye.
She looked at my brother,
“Are you sure you mean him?
I heard you call him Nicholas,
but he said his name’s Jim.”
“Ya… he uses that name,
when he goes incognito,
Nicholas is who he is,
sure as Mark Spitz wears a Speedo.”
I sat down on the stool,
right next to Ol’ Nick,
then I clapped him on the back,
“How are you? You, prick?”
Nick looked over at me,
on his face a huge grin.
“Hey, little Bro,
can you slip me a fin?”
I paused but a moment,
“What the fuck?” I did ask.
“Did the Mrs. steal your wallet
and snag all your cash?”
“Ho, ho, ho,” Nick said again,
raising his glass,
nearly tipping over
and falling on his ass.
“You realize what day it is,
don’t you, my Bro?”
Maybe you should slow down
on all that alcohol.”
“I’m fine, I’m fine,” he drawled,
with a slur in his speech,
then waved at the barmaid,
“C’mere hon, you peach.”
“Jailor Serry wants my Bro,”
it came out all mixed up.
But, Nick didn’t notice,
as he reached for his cup.
Just then, the bar door opened
and in came this guy,
he couldn’t have been 3 feet tall,
if he was even that high.
He strutted over to Nick, “Time to go Boss…
I’ve brought you your cab.”
Then he called to the barmaid,
“I’ll settle his tab.”
Nick gave me a squeeze
and I held on to him tight,
“I love you, my Brother,
have a safe flight.”
“Ho, ho, ho,” Nick laughed.
” You have nothing to dread,
the cookies and milk,
will soon clear my head!”
Then he walked toward the exit
and I knew he was right,
as he turned round and yelled,
“Have some Christmas Spirits
and a Happy Hour night!”
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