Two priests walk into a bar

Two priests carrying Bibles walk into a bar

Two priests, one dressed like a Viking and carrying Bibles, walk into a bar

“For crying out loud… I need some inspiration!” Jordy pounded the keys on his computer. “My editor is going to be so pissed off if I miss this deadline.”

“Are you talking to me?” Gary called from the kitchen. “I can’t hear you over the dishwasher.  What do you need?”

“I need an idea for this piece that’s due on Thursday.  It’s supposed to be a lighthearted story for Lent, but all I can come up with are religious jokes that are wrong on so many levels.”

“Oh, baby, come here,” Gary soothed, walking into the living room and pulling Jordy’s head to his broad chest.  “It will come to you, it always does.”

Jordy wrapped his arms around Gary’s waist and nuzzled in to the dark exotic scent of his lover’s ebony skin.  “You always smell so good, Babe.  Mmmmm, look at what you do to me.” Jordy leaned back so Gary could see the growing bulge in his jeans.  “Why don’t I just work on my article tomorrow and we can go back to bed?”

A slow lazy smile bloomed on Gary’s face as he pulled out of their embrace.  “I wish, Lover Boy, but I will be late for my meeting if I don’t leave now.  That never ending Emmet vs. Bailey case is going back to court and I have to deposition the witnesses this morning.” Gary leaned down and planted a quick kiss on Jordy’s pouting mouth,  “Good luck with your article though, I’m sure you’ll find inspiration somewhere.”

The forced exhale that left Jordy’s lips followed Gary into the hallway.  “It’ll be fine, you’ll see,” Gary’s voice echoed back as he left the house.

Ya, easy for you to say, Jordy thought as he stared blankly at the closed door.

A momentary spark of jealous resentment flared in Jordy.  Damn Gary for having someplace to go instead of being stuck in the land of lost inspiration.

Shifting his gaze to the computer and watching the cursor blink expectantly, Jordy’s fingers hovered.

Two Bible salesmen

Two Bible salesmen looking to get down and dirty

Shit. Jordy’s head slumped on his shoulders. He was stuck. Really stuck.  Like quagmire stuck.  If he didn’t find something to write about soon, he might as well just blow off this week’s article and accept the wrath of his editor. Lord knows he felt like it.

Hoisting himself from his chair in frustration, Jordy prowled around the room trying to get his juices flowing.  Feeling like a caged lion, he glanced out the window and across the lawn.

Whoa…what is this? Jordy stopped dead in his tracks while his voyeuristic tendencies kicked into high gear from the action he caught going on through the neighbor’s kitchen window.  The lovely widowed Loraine was sitting on her kitchen counter naked except for a tiny apron tied around her waist and black patent leather spiked stilettos with straps that laced around and around her legs all the way up to her thighs.  Her face was filled with a mixture of yearning fascination and a lot of mischief as she waved a spatula around in the air.

Jordy slunk back into the shadows of his living room so he could watch without the chance of being caught.  He wasn’t attracted to Loraine, even though she was indeed a beautiful woman.  He was interested in what Loraine was whooping it up about.

She obviously had company, as the powder blue Prius parked in her driveway was definitely not her car.  Loraine wouldn’t be caught dead driving that whirr of a vehicle.  She was all about the power.  Her ride of choice was a fire red ROUSH 429R Mustang. Only 100 of them built and she let everyone know just how special it was.  “Like I am, Sugar,” she would tell anyone who’d listen.

Jordy’s attention was drawn off the car in the driveway and onto the man who just stepped in front of Loraine.  He was naked and was tightly flexing his ass muscles as Loraine’s legs wrapped around his waist and pulled him in.

Jordy watched as she laid claim to the guy’s shoulders and spun him around so his ass was nestled in her crotch.  Bingo! The man was sporting a hard-on the size of a porn star and he had rings clamped to his nipples with a length of chain holding them both hostage. Jordy’s cock punched the inside of his zipper with the force of an MMA fighter going after an opponent and he couldn’t take his eyes from the scene next door if he wanted to.

Loraine pushed the guy forward so he was bent at the waist then lifted that spatula high in the air.  Whack! Jordy’s stiffness deflated a little and a rush of air broke free of his lungs as a flash of sympathy pain flooded his body.  The guys’ reaction was the exact opposite as he was still touching his toes and offering his goods to the woman on the counter.  Loraine went right ahead and took what was offered and continued her spatula thrashing on the poor SOB,  while the Washington Monument between his legs continued to stand proudly.

Jordy was spellbound.  Not only did the man’s massive size captivate him, but he’d never witnessed a dominatrix in action before.  Not even on DVD.  That kind of thing had never interested him.  Well, guess what… he was most definitely interested in it now.

Loraine stopped her spanking and grabbed the guy by his hair, pulling him upright.  She jumped from the counter-top and circled around her prey.

His giant member strained and twitched for some recognition as Loraine grabbed his wrists. Ignoring the demanding flagpole waving at her belly, she pulled his arms behind him and handcuffed them at his lower back.

Winding around his body, Loraine found the chain connecting the guy’s nipples and took it between her lips.  Pulling it along with her, Loraine stood tiptoe and gave the guy a kiss, transferring the gold links from her lips to his.  He took it between his teeth and threw his head backwards, extending his nipples.  His cock flexed so hard it hit him in his stomach.

Loraine threw her own head back in apparent pleasure and then slowly dragged the edge of the spatula up and down his body.  He shivered uncontrollably.

Removing the gold chain from the man’s mouth, she reached into her apron pocket and withdrew another long gold cable.  Pulling him forward so he was again doubled in half, Loraine attached one end of the cable to the links of gold still suspended between his nipples.  She dropped the other end of the cable down to his penis and looped it tightly around the head, completing the bondage.

Pulling a kitchen chair in front of her captive, Loraine sat down, raised her legs and propped her 5” spikes on his wide shoulders.   She ground her heels in and opened herself wide revealing her hidden treasure.  Sheer lust flashed in his eyes right before Loraine covered them with a blindfold.  She jerked his gold constraints with one hand and with her other, yanked his head forward into her sex.

A moan escaped Jordy’s lips and he realized his own erection had come back full force.  He undid his zipper and released himself from the tight confines of his pants.  The cool stroke of his palm was a relief against his throbbing heat and he roughly squeezed the tip of his manhood, curious to feel the pleasure pain he was witnessing.

Jordy’s gaze returned to Loraine and her submissive and he fell into a vicious rhythm of strokes, matching the bobbing of the man’s head between his mistress’s thighs.

A fierce urgency overtook Jordy and he closed his eyes as he pulled and tugged himself into a staggering frenzy.  He pawed at his nipple until it became a flesh pebble on his chest, then he took it between his fingers and rolled and stretched it into an angry red.

The abuse he inflicted upon himself drew out an unparalleled gratification and his sex exploded into the room.  Jordy bellowed in relief as he convulsed with pleasure.

He collapsed exhausted onto the sofa, panting heavily and still holding onto his punished member.  When his heartbeat returned to normal, he lifted his head with tremendous effort and looked down with amusement at his persecuted flesh.  A rush of forbidden excitement coursed through his body.  “Where the hell did that come from?” he asked the flaccid thing lying on his stomach.

Gathering himself together and reaching for the tissues to start the cleanup, Jordy jumped when his cell phone rang.  Looking at the caller id, he flipped the thing open with a smile.  “Hey Baby.”

“Hey, Lover Boy,” Gary whispered into the phone. “Have you found inspiration for your article?”

“As a matter of fact, I have,” Jordy chuckled.  “I’m going to write about observing things around you.  And, if you’re lucky, you just might learn something new!  I’ll tell you all about it at HAPPY HOUR tonight.  You’re going to love it.”

Special Rough

1 ½ ounces Brandy

1 ½ ounces Apple Brandy

2 dashes Pernod

Pour ingredients into a mixing glass filled with ice. Stir. Strain into chilled martini glass.

Enjoy!